Devanshyre

You set your traps on sacred ground aiming your speed gun at us as we drive along, traveling traditions. These roads are so familiar they mirror the wrinkles on our hands. Networks of memories as intricate as a spider's web. We know these roads but you try to control them. We, and our roads are too wild and free, for you to handle at least. You set your rules and limits and then sit waiting, ready to ambush. But we know these roads better than you do, we know their curves and turns their ups and downs, just as well as we know ourselves. We know your hiding places and we can guess your next moves Bu you can't out-think us

In recent days I've seen you try, I think. I've heard those few small things you've said before you're gone again. And still my tears fall to paper becasue I wonder why is it so hard for you?

It's out of necessity that I call. My need to survive the next 15 minutes. But I shouldn't, I shouldn't dial the numbers that even my fingers have memorized.

Forgive me for I am flawed beyond repair. I tried to follow in those footsteps but my feet couldn't figure it out. Faltering and fumbling I'm failing to find my way.

I hurt and I hurt. The pain is like a tide In and out but it never leaves

It's far from flawless in the relentless summer sun. But in the night, in the shadow filled room, the imperfections, the gaps are invisible.

I need to get lost. Lose myself in the night. Discover my fears, Ulock my courage. Find myself Then thrive.

Temptation shimmers in its sleek silver form The candle light flickers on its shinny surface- The idea slithers through my mind. And then I see myself; A saddened reflection on the cold slice of metal- Guilt storms my soul. I slide back under the water.

The billowing wind whispers wild things in my ears and my feet follow along to the feather soft sounds. A wondrous walk through the forest of forever.

We are scarred, ablaze with anger. Living lives we never wanted. Different shapes, different colors, but our skeletons match like unknown sisters.

Even as children never the kind to be close The awkward movement, hand against hand I say nothing, still feel it, the taste of my blood You swig your whisky, silent, not at all strange: Two near-men, we stagger through city dark Fall in your talk of fear, and loss, and Gods Is perverse the right word? Maybe - these Gods Have always held you, captivated, too close To another book, your lamp spearing the dark- Midnight, wanna sleep, your blue-tinged hand- Each to his own, his heroin, yours the strange Carried through your veins; your heart craved blood. That saying has always haunted me: blood Runs thicker than water, I wonder, tho

The corner of your mouth Tilted, just for a moment And we breathed out At the same time, while your knee Pressed against mine, but You remembered yourself Just in time, and moved away.

The air tastes like a day at the beach Sandy chips, some kind of montage where we kiss It's a beautiful day Lets run away Please dance with me. Your smile rinses the whole world away Watch all the greys wash down the drain Tonight I feel so cold Got no money to burn Your eyes are beautiful. And is there something wrong with me? I can't seem to tell anymore What's dreams and what's reality There'll be a price to pay. There's fragments of you in everything I do Sweeping a goodbye under the mat Your scent's in every room Like cigarette smoke or my favourite perfume Tell me, darling What would you do?

I burst a balloon today (another one gone by) just to enjoy The symbolism of the thing Pink foil in the shape of a heart Scattered on the floorboards (it wasn't meant to be like this by now) were you thinking Of me (you ruined me); Eyes misting as you gazed Into hers (wrecked) like I Was thinking of you?

You were there And then gone Whisked away Your face suspended For a whisper of a moment Through the glass As though you would Have smiled But didn't have time To compose your face.

You always took the stairs Two at a time but That day I knew I'd done wrong By you, because You took them just As they were.

When I think In too much Detail (Something I'm afraid I do much too much of) Thinking of you Punches a hole Straight Through my chest Can you take A break And become My stapler?

I sit in the cold, and listen to the snow. Oh the stories it has told, about the things it seems to know. It asks why I have become slow, why I always have none to show. I tell it thats the way it goes, when all you have to feel, is sad and alone. I feel my heart was sold, and my sprits have become old. Why im afraid, is something only god knows. It may take a day, for my life to break, but until then, ill watch the stars shake.

There was a hole near the edge Of your kitchen table and I Remember how you used to Pick at it with your fingernail when The conversation just turned To words.

The sun rose up On a lollipop stick Still sticky, gripped In a chubby hand In a dusty cardboard Theatre in the dark Cobwebbed corner. And lit it up again.